Why I Chose To Embrace My Single Season
Hello, my beauties and welcome to the brand new MWestStyle!
It feels SO GOOD to be back from my blogging break, you all have no idea. A lot has happened since the last time we chatted, and while I was preparing to relaunch my baby, this blog, I was thinking of what I wanted to talk about first. So what better way to kick off a new site than by taking it back to the beginning. My blog was initially created to share my own story and testimony and ultimately help other young women; my first story was about why I chose to embrace my single season. Now the original post is a little dated because A LOT has happened since the first time I wrote it, but the message has stayed the same. Let’s get into it.
If you would have met me in the spring of 2015, then you would have met Muriel who may have seemed super cheerful and happy on the outside but was so broken on the inside. I had been suffering from depression on and off since 2011, and my self-esteem was at all time low. That would contribute a lot to the decisions I made during that time including my choice in men. Now I would say I’ve only been in two real relationships/situationships before me meeting my fiancé, and they were lessons learned to say the least. While being in those situations I lost myself, and I was doing wifey things for guys who didn’t even bother to make me a girlfriend. It was not only a show of their character but also to my own, the fact that I allowed myself to be strung along showed what I thought of myself. I looked in the mirror and hated the person that stared back. So the summer of 2015 I made a decision, that I was going to be single indefinitely. I needed to get back to a place where I loved myself again.
So the first thing on my list after making this decision and declaration was that I needed to get my relationship back on track with God. In those years when I was just out doing my own thing, my relationship with God suffered greatly, and by the time I was making my way back to Him, it showed how desperately I needed Him. I started rereading His word and making sure I was setting spending quiet time to be in His presence. After a while, my relationship was growing stronger, and God revealed to me my purpose on this earth was. I’m so grateful even to be serving a father who loves me so much. The fact that while I was out here just making a bunch of dumb choices, God was still waiting patiently for me to come back to Him. When I decided to crawl back to Him finally, God was there with open arms, not holding any grudge, I was forgiven, and that was it. I’m grateful that He allowed me to go through what I did because it made me appreciate Him so much more.
During my single season I also chose to get to know my self again, I found that I had a lot of recovering to do before I even thought about sharing my heart with someone else. I refused to continue to walk in brokenness and low self-esteem. I was determined to heal, and I knew to do that when I had to be honest with myself. I remember sitting on my bed one day with worship music playing in the background and just coming face to face with the ugliest traits about my self that I wanted to leave behind. I remember praying to God that He would rid me of everything that was not like Him and feel me up with the things that brought Him glory. From that day on, little by little, I started falling in love with the woman I was becoming. The shell of the old life I carried was being chipped away, and a brand new renewed Muriel was emerging from those cracks.
Although I’m no longer in my single season, I still look back at that time often as a reminder of not only how far God has brought me but the many lessons I learned and what I still apply to my life today. My single season taught me how to love not only myself but how to love other people as well correctly. It showed me that I’m never alone and that if everything else fails, then I still have the most amazing Heavenly Father in my corner. It showed me my true inner beauty and increased my confidence even more. It allowed me to form genuine relationships and navigate through life a lot easier than I had been before. Some of you, my sisters, are in your single season right now, and you may be wondering why you’re here or when is God going to get you out. I ask that you, please don’t rush this beautiful time in your life, this is the perfect opportunity to embrace the purpose God has set for you and to grow even more through Him. If you desire to get married then this a time where you can truly focus on preparing to be the wife your man of God deserves. You are apart of a time for you to excel and go after what you want in life, focusing on continued growth. This is an AMAZING season, so embrace it!
This does wrap up my first post back, and as always I LOVE YOU ALL + Stay Gorgeous,