A little over a year ago I made the decision to be single. Now give it I had been technically single for a while now, honestly I don’t think I’ve ever been in a legit relationship mostly just situationships if you may. But this time it was different I decided to be completely single. I wasn’t happy, I lost sight of what was important and by this point something had to give. So I decided to just be myself! This meant no dates, no “talking”, no entertaining guys, honestly if you weren’t my brother or one of my few guy friends I didn’t talk to you. Now you may wonder this might be a little extreme but if you knew the place I was coming from then you’d understand.
I’ve only been serious about two guys in my short 23 years of life and those relationships have both taught me a lot about my self. With both of these relationships I lost myself but the worst thing is I lost God. I made those relationships my idol. It was all I could think about and I composed this fairy tale happy ending in my head and held these guys at such a high standard so that when they weren’t met I was devastated. I was doing wife duties when I wasn’t even a girlfriend! I know someone can relate with me there if not oh well I relate with myself lol! Needless to say these relationships did not end in my favor and somehow I ended up with the short end of the stick. Honestly I’m glad I went through it though because I needed to learn those lessons and it’s shaped me into the young woman I am .
What I’ve learned over this time span is how crazy faithful God is for one. My relationship with him grew so much closer and through him I saw my identity. He healed my wounds and listened to my cries. All I truly desired was to just grow closer to God again for him to use me in this season of my life. He wanted me to be single for a reason so instead of trying to take control of everything I finally let him have it. Y’all the peace I feel now I don’t want to ever trade. This feeling is so amazing like its truly indescribable. During the year God reminded me about how much I was worth and that I’m worth the wait. Y’all when I think about his grace and mercy that he’s shown me I can’t help but get emotional about it!
A year later and I’m in an extremely good place! I’ve started to walk in my purpose ( FINALLY lol) and I’m still single haha. I’ve grown to appreciate this season of my life and take advantage of it! I still have the desire to be a wife and a mom (in that order) but I also know that in God’s timing it will happen. So instead of worrying about that I’m doing all of the things that I might not nesecarrily get to do when I have a family to worry about. Also I’m using this time to allow myself to be prepared to be a wife because Lord knows I’m not there yet! I would definitely encourage all of my sisters in Christ to embrace this season in their lives and take the time to just get to know themselves and build that strong relationship with God. I promise it’s worth the wait.
I love you all and until next time Stay Gorgeous xo,